Last update
2022-07-02 20:36:13

    Teaching French to English Speakers:

    French lesson: The word "sur" means "on"
    English speaker: Okay.
    French lesson: For example,
    The vase is [on] the table.
     The house is [on] the ri
     I read this book [on] his recommend
     Bring me the file [on] copyright li
    English s
    peaker: Right. Got it. "Sur" means "on."


    Teaching French to Chinese speakers:

    French lesson: The word "sur" means "on."
    Chinese speaker: Okay.
    French lesson: For example,
    The vase is [on] the table
    Chinese speaker
    : Right. Got it. "Sur" means "on."
    French lesson
    : The word "sur" also means "towards."
    Chinese speaker
    : Eh?
    French lesson
    : For example,
     The house is [towards] the ri
    Chinese speak
    er: Oh...kay.
    French less
    on: The word "sur" also means "because of."
    Chinese speak
    er: What? What?
    French less
    on: For example,
     I read this book [because of] his recommend
    Chinese spe
    aker: Why does this one word mean all these things? Don't y'all have any other words?
    French le
    sson: The word "sur" also means "containing information pertaining to."
    Chinese spe
    aker: Stop fucking around with me.
    French lesson: For ex
     Bring me the file [containing information pertaining to] copyright lic
    Chinese s
    peaker: What the fuck is wrong with this language?

    Me: the differential of holly and viper-root versus holly and wolfsbane is why we can't have a perfect werewolf repellant, as the variation between European, African and American werewolves is enough so that only local producers can create the best for the area.

    The Static Ghost trapped on the CD-rom across the room: KRISKRASCRISKRAWKRISTIR

    Me: that's a good question, and I can't say I know the answer. It is likely just the similar feeding habits between vampires and werewolves.

    anarchists: i hate that our lives are largely controlled by arbitrary authorities who use covert threats and overt violence to maintain their positions of power. it's really bad and i would prefer if we could all just exist without having to exert systemic power over others like that.

    dozens of chucklefucks crawling out of the woodwork: explain to me right this fucking second the exact details of how you personally will maintain the supply chain for insulin, or you hate disabled people and your ideology is actually fascism


    ka applegate: there’s some aliens in my books

    editor: ok, so what are we talking, little green men?

    ka applegate: i’m thinking more like…giant blue deer-people with no mouths and scorpion tails

    editor: little green men would be easier to put on the cover

    ka applegate: yeah, but deer-people are cooler


    editor: but what about the cover?

    ka applegate: don’t worry, I got you…covered

    editor: this is just a cocktail napkin with the word “horrifying half-human half-animal abomination” underlined six times

    (ka applegate has already skateboarded away)


    OP it’s vital to me that you know that KA originally wanted to put little grey men in her books, but Scholastic told her to be more “creative.” Knowing that it was 1990-something, and Scholastic was planning to maybe make a TV show, KA responded by being petty as hell and making the most absolutely batshit insane alien ever. Something hard to, say, do in SFX if you’re Nickelodeon in 1995-ish.

    Something like blue deer scorpion people with no mouths.

    This is a book series built on SPITE

    Glimmer: I don’t know how to talk about Beast Island with my dad. He was missing for over 15 years and must have thought nobody was going to find him, but he just acts like everything is normal.

    Glimmer: I don’t know. How did you guys deal with the trauma?

    Entrapta: What do you mean, “trauma”?

    Catra: What do you mean, “deal”?

    Glimmer: …….

    Adora: I’m still not entirely sure what a “dad” is.

    Glimmer: Never mind.


    Evil dude that’s way in over their head: We will take over this “Ghost Zone” and from there use it as a base to take over the rest of the multiverse!

    Danny: umm yeah okay but you’re gonna have to talk with the Ghost King about that.

    Evil dude: Whose the Ghost King???

    Danny, the crown of fire suddenly appearing over his head: Me


    “Cool idea” I thought before accidentally sitting down and drawing it for six+ hours


    Me, updating my fic: Readers, I need to end it on this point to keep tension high and give you an enjoyable reading experience

    Readers, eyes wide: you CLIFFHANGER readers???? You play with their poor hearts like the FOOTBALL? oh! jail for author!! jail for author for one thousand years!!


    Jokes on them because that's how long it will be before the update 😆😆


    Book!Geralt: So, how do you greet your Jaskiers? I always loudly announce he’s my best friend and then take him for some ale and then we buy one bed and talk before sleeping.

    Game!Geralt: I smile and softly call him my friend. He always wants something stupid from me so I agree and then we do something even more stupid.

    Hexer!Geralt: I hug him tightly. Then I hug him again. Sometimes a third time as well. He sings for me.



    Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

    My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.


    The spiritual successor to Miette


    May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit


    Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children


    I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.


    My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

    Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

    My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

    Me: ksst!

    My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

    Me: ok

    My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang


    Can haz snackytreat


    This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!


    you're absolutely correct it was


    And it's so accurate, my new cat is so demanding lol


    me: [accidentally closes a chrome window with 50+ tabs]

    my laptop, gently weeping: oh my god………… oh ym hgod thank you so much……….. thank y


    Me, realizing my mistake, reopening Chrome and preparing to mash ctrl+shift+T to bring them all back one by one:

    My computer:


    my computer watching me click the “Restore” option for all of my tabs after shutting down unnaturally:


    You should all be detained ASAP