Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.
Achilles: *Loud gasp*
coffeetime88Superman vs Goku: 20 pages of two grown men playing Tag. Eventually Batman and King Kai convince them to stop.
Superman vs Naruto: 30 pages of the deepest therapy you've ever read. Absolutely beautiful. Words cannot describe the healing.
Superman vs One-Punch Man: Just a bunch of 4-panel comics about the differences between Clark Kent's Midwestern and Saitama's Japanese hospitality. There is at least one section where both go into the same grocery store with the exact same grocery list, while the store is running low on stock.
dasha-aiboSuperman VS Kamen Rider: Takeshi Hongo going into a long-winded story about how he fought Shocket that one time, Clark patiently sits down and listens to it, even though he's heard it at least five times before.
how places in cities are named in fantasy stories: Everyone knows the tragic story of why this square is called The Square Of Crimson Lilies. It was named so because 300 years ago King Evil Fuck had people slaughtered here, and their blood stained and dyed the flowers that were being sold there by an innocent flower girl, and a famous poet wrote a poem about the grievous sight.
how places in cities are named in real life: This area of the city is named Pigsbeating Cross, because 300 years ago the village miller beat the blacksmith's pig to death at a crossroads, and since the miller was such a huge dick about it, nobody ever let him live it down and kept referring to that specific crossroads as "that crossroads where the miller beat that pig", which shortened over time. By the time the larger nearby town had spread far enough to annex the village, nobody alive could remember why that area near Formerly-An-Independent-Village is called Pigsbeating Cross.
zhewhoisfateBroke: vulcans don’t play games, as they are illogical
Woke: vulcans absolutely play games as resting so as to recuperate after exertion is highly logical and they have a marked preference for the Terran game, chess
Third eye slaming open at 4:27am: vulcans love poker. They won’t mention it and they’ll justify it but after first contact they descended on poker like a murder of starving ravens as a unified cultural phenomenon
hedge-ramblesI don’t watch Star Trek really but “Competitive emotional suppression with probability assessment and observation skills” is the most Vulcan leisure activity I can imagine.
the-dao-of-the-zergThis reminds me of the other Vulcan headcanon floating around that says there is a specific Vulcan word for when you come to understand why the word “fuck” is so important. I can’t help but feel like Poker is going to be a great way to teach that word :)
The left 2020: No one is allowed to get mad at us for blocking traffic while we protest police brutality and the fascists that enable them. Police brutality and fascism is worse than blocking traffic, so we can do whatever we want.
The left 2022: Actually if you block traffic while protesting fascism the police and the military should shoot you dead.
leap-froggeA review of Girls und Panzer
-As I first started watching this my only knowledge of this was through a video of one of the character going hog wild in a tank, just blasting away.
-Originally thought it was an anime for dumb stupid perverts and pedophiles
-Started watching it and realized it was an anime about friendship and tanks
-It is really cute
-There are very good bits and the characters are all just having a good time
-Made me tear up a bit
-Watched the movie as well
-Also really good
-The automotive club, the first year team, and the anzio gang are my favorite group of characters for having good vibes
-Please take this anime away from perverts because it would have a better reputation
-Would highly recommend
Overall it is a solid:
Heavy tank/Super heavy Tank
sindri42I honestly haven’t seen anybody being pervy about this show, it was just an easy target for the ‘all anime fans are pedophiles’ crowd because they could overlap it with the ‘anybody who studies military history is a nazi’ crowd.
homunculus-argumentthe universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?
human: GO FAST
the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.
human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST
the universe: wait what
human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER
the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP
human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER
abstractandedgyname
im-just-a-reactionHow will the people in the ship not get gibbed?
armedandgayngerousBecause the warp drive doesn’t actually accelerate the ship, it just makes the space in front of it smaller and the space behind it larger. Or something.
unlimited-shitpost-worksit works like this
Objects cannot accelerate to the speed of light within normal spacetime; instead, the Alcubierre drive shifts space around an object so that the object would arrive at its destination faster than light would in normal space without breaking any physical laws.
triss19A WRINKLE IN TIME IS COMING TRUE
fedkaczynski
beans345I love how mankind’s solution to ftl is just to bend to rules of reality a little.
Universe: ok human, with the physical laws as they are you can’t go faster than the speed of light.
Humanity: ok, let me just figure out how to manipulate space time so I can go FASTER!
thespectacularspider-girl
throwitonthepileregrettably, still needs components with negative mass to function, but neat nonetheless.
homunculus-argumentme at 11: Why the fuck do we have reading comprehension tests in school. Who the fuck is there who can read words but not understand what they're saying. Why are they worried that any of us would read a story where a woman wants to kill puppies and not be able to tell who is the villain of the story. You either can read or you can't, surely there's nobody out there who can understand that letters form words, but can't make sense of the intended messages of written text.
me now on tumblr: oh.
feuangfaWhen I was I think in third grade, we read a short story in class. Our teacher asked someone to sum it up and they got a major detail wrong. Then our teacher asked one student after the other and they ALL got it wrong and I was sweating because we were down to like three students and I knew it was wrong but everyone was saying the same thing, so surely I must have made the mistake? And if she called me and I told her my version, surely everyone would laugh at me for getting it wrong? That really stressed me out. She gave up before it was my turn but when she corrected us, it was basically what I had known all along.
What I learned that day is that peer pressure is real and that reading comprehension isn't something you can take for granted. People will misread things, purposely or not.
That's something I'm glad I learned early on because it bugs me when people for example write convoluted work emails rather than to stop and wonder how they can keep it short and concise. Even if people read your shit, they might misread it, so why risk that people won't read your BS bulk text email at all?
homunculus-argumentme at 11: Why the fuck do we have reading comprehension tests in school. Who the fuck is there who can read words but not understand what they're saying. Why are they worried that any of us would read a story where a woman wants to kill puppies and not be able to tell who is the villain of the story. You either can read or you can't, surely there's nobody out there who can understand that letters form words, but can't make sense of the intended messages of written text.
me now on tumblr: oh.
flammenxciMe going through the character assessment portion of a job application: Oh! OH YOU SNEAKY BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKERS!
me at 11: Why the fuck do we have reading comprehension tests in school. Who the fuck is there who can read words but not understand what they're saying. Why are they worried that any of us would read a story where a woman wants to kill puppies and not be able to tell who is the villain of the story. You either can read or you can't, surely there's nobody out there who can understand that letters form words, but can't make sense of the intended messages of written text.
me now on tumblr: oh.
marvel-lous-thingsBartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house
Peter: thank you, but I can’t
Bartender: why not
Peter:
Bartender:
Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant
fuckingshipsBartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?
Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider
learnyourlessonswellI’m seeing stuff in the notes about “Miles would do this” and I just want to say: you’re absolutely right. All Spider-folks across all universes share one (1) singular brain cell and most of the time it’s Gwen’s.
seananmcguireAs the current author of Spider-Gwen, I can attest that Gwen has not seen the brain cell in years.
the-fair-maiden-of-fandomI FOUND IT
g-aryaI finally lay my eyes upon this glorious post myself
Tumblr commies: revolution! Eat the rich! Kill cops!
Also Tumblr commies: daddy go🅱ermint, 🅱wease take my guns
Ada Wong: oh my god he's an idiot
Leon Kennedy: okay Ada, I'll help you, even though I think you're keeping stuff from me
Ada: oh god i can't NOT fuck him
Tumblr when a ship contains a guy 2 seconds older than a girl and they’re both over 18: Ewwww nasty pedophiles! Fucking kill yourselves!!!!
Tumblr when a literal 10-year-old child is being paraded around a gay club in drag and getting money thrown at him: Umm? There’s nothing wrong with that?? Stop being a homophobe lmao
broke: putting Punisher skulls on your tactical gear to show everyone what a badass (you think) you are
woke: putting the XCOM crest on your tactical gear so nobody is surprised when you miss a life-or-death shot, panic, and die
Nintendo: Hey! You wanna see how Luigi would handle being in a Castlevania game?
Me: BOY WOULD I!
Nintendo: He’d fucking die. He would Get Killed, and Die.
Me: Hmmm, I don’t like that.
Nintendo: Hey! You wanna see how Luigi would handle being in a Castlevania game?
Me: BOY WOULD I!
Nintendo: He’d fucking die. He would Get Killed, and Die.
Me: Hmmm, I don’t like that.
Me, after making Satan an anime tiddy waifu in my story: Christ is evident in my work.
I mean the Devil's whole thing is Temptation, so it's not out of the question.
Me: How could someone graduate with an ivy league degree in economics and still wind up being a barista for 7 years after the fact?
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: *speaks*
Me: Ah, I understand.
Some person: All things are inherently political!
Jurakan: WRONG. All things are inherently spiritual, you just haven't noticed because you forsook religion for the secular world.
Neckbeard with useless degree: All things are inherently philosophical, because you must judge things as good/desirable or bad/undesirable to determine what goal you should be pursuing beyond absolutely basic survival.