tredlocitybrand twitter: *makes an actually funny joke*
me: heh
garfield: *kicks down my door and shoots me in the head*
tredlocity
aetherlich
vigilantsycamoreEbenezer Scrooge: Goes outside
500 Muppets: There goes Mr Asshole! There Goes Mr Bitch!
forthegothicheroine
mckitterickit's already begun with Muskrat:
Elon Musk Gets Viciously Booed by Stadium Crowd at Dave Chappelle Show
let's keep it up, folks
wow-very-emo-such-bandsWhat people think why i became a bookbinder: Oh she wants to explore her artistic horizon with those pretty leather bound books of hers. She even gives them out as gifts to her friends. It most likely helps her with anxiety or maybe she just wanted a more special costume made notebook.
Why I actually became a bookbinder: I just illegally downloaded and printed out several of my favourite fanfics and books and started binding them into books cuz I love reading them but looking at screens for too long gives me headaches.
ghost-maybeop youre fucking big brained oh my god
wow-very-emo-such-bandsIf you want to i can send you a link to some of the Tutorial videos i started binding my fanfic books.
cyanidevampPLEASE SEND ME THE LINK I WANT TO DO THIS SO BAD
alexstyxPLEASE SEND LINKS OP PLEASE I BEG YOU
wow-very-emo-such-bands@laughuntilourribsgettough @starduststyx upon request: A tutorial playlist for my personal favourite bookbinding methods
- Longstitch binding
2)Japanese Binding
3) Belgian Binding
4) Coptic stitch binding
5) Case Bookbinding
zindagi-toh-bewafa-haioh wow i love this
Jaskier: i don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time
Yen: [cracks knuckles] girlboss then?
Jaskier: i was gonna suggest manslaughter
Geralt: what is wrong with the two of you?
wizardpotionsI wonder if multilingual dnd characters work like multilingual people irl
Character 1: hey can you pass me the (demonic screeching)
Character 2: (visibly disturbed)
Character 1: (takes mundane object out of character 2s hands) sorry I forgot the word for it in common...
hayleyolivia
Bones: Listen here you son of a bitch.
Spock, trying to contain his emotions: My mother was, in fact, an immensely kind and well liked woman.
Bones: I meant your father?
Spock: …
Spock: Continue
azula: hey zuko, how does it feel to know that dad thinks i’m superior to you in every way
zuko: idk, how does it feel to know that mom never loved you
azula: do you think our family’s kind of dysfunctional?
zuko: how do you mean
hoothootmotherf-ckershardison: everyone in this found family has so many damn emotional issues that it would make them uncomfortable if i just said shit like “i love and care about you,” so i just buy us home bases and make everyone fake IDs and give em restaurants and $100k motorcycles and leave the ball in their court for when they’re ready"
arbitrarityhardison, sneaking love through to the team unnoticed: *hacker voice* i’m in
personsonable-deactivated201908me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
miaislyingHey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?
personsonabledecay exists as an extant form of life
miaislyingThat’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day
mckitterickthis post destroyed OP
My Partner while we’re having a cuddle: Your eyes are so beautiful, and full of secrets.
Me, in a whisper: I burned the Library of Alexandria.
Genie: you have 3 wishes
Me: I wish men who dismiss period pains would experience them for ten minutes every week
Genie: oof that’s a nice one that’s on me you still got three left
star wars fans on star wars day: may the forth be with you! i love star wars
trekkies on first contact day: haha solkar sure was a fuckin slut
homunculus-argumentthe universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?
human: GO FAST
the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.
human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST
the universe: wait what
human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER
the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP
human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER
abstractandedgyname
im-just-a-reactionHow will the people in the ship not get gibbed?
armedandgayngerousBecause the warp drive doesn’t actually accelerate the ship, it just makes the space in front of it smaller and the space behind it larger. Or something.
unlimited-shitpost-worksit works like this
Objects cannot accelerate to the speed of light within normal spacetime; instead, the Alcubierre drive shifts space around an object so that the object would arrive at its destination faster than light would in normal space without breaking any physical laws.
triss19A WRINKLE IN TIME IS COMING TRUE
fedkaczynski
beans345I love how mankind’s solution to ftl is just to bend to rules of reality a little.
Universe: ok human, with the physical laws as they are you can’t go faster than the speed of light.
Humanity: ok, let me just figure out how to manipulate space time so I can go FASTER!
ciswhitethinThat’s literally how the ship in Futurama works lol the professor says the ship doesn’t move at all, it moves all of space around it. Can’t believe Futurama was right
starfleetrambofun fact: there’s a real life math theorem (futurama theorem) created by one of the writers for the sole purpose of solving a plot in an episode
petermorwoodLooks at jar of chilli powder. How much spice is needed to fold space…?
ciobite mckitterickjust ADHD things
eatgeekstudyMe: I just sometimes get so stressed that I just want to screech
My Therapist: Then do it.
Me: I’m sorry?
My Therapist: Primal screeching is one way of completing your stress cycle, do it. Be mindful of where you are, I usually do it in my car, but yeah. Go for it.
Me: Ah- Oh.
My Therapist: Holding that kind of thing in is what’s locking you into that stress state. Screeching, running, dancing, that tells your body they the danger has passed and you’ll relax. Since you have a lifetime of that shit locked away, it’ll take a sec but yeah. Screech if you want to.
ottpopYO this is legit
My dad has always had me do this, especially when I was little and kept the baby up. We would go into the back yard, point to the river (to keep the ship captains up at night) and scream. I was also told to jump up and down to “get all the scream out”
I did this in college too. There’s nothing more cathartic than climbing the fence of the fishing pier, running to the end of it and screaming into the wind. It’s powerful, it’s therapeutic, it’s feral and wonderful.
I did this with kids too, when they have too much energy. When I worked at a children’s camp and the kids had too much energy when the rain canceled pool time I took them out in the rain, made them jump up and down and scream, and then 15 some nine-year-olds and I would rance across the field screaming in the rain
Go scream, just face towards the river when you do it
adventuringchangelingAdventurer’s Tip #345: Sometimes you just gotta scream. Just face towards the river when you do.
nanoochkaThis has the same energy and practicality as “run (or walk, wheel, or whatever is accessible to you) when you’re having a panic attack.” Sometimes the best thing you can do is give in to your body’s primal fucking urges and hit the reset button on whatever you’re feeling.
mental-ch-illnessme, as my laptop fan suddenly becomes louder: what is it?? what program?? who is doing this to you????
sarahsoph*opening task manager* Who do I need to kill?
idy-ll-iqueGays, sighing: Guys are hot
Lesbians, nodding: Girls are hot
Bisexuals/Pansexuals, groaning: Why is everyone hot????
Asexuals, misunderstanding: Global warming
mckitterickDemisexuals: Yeah, though I think they mean "aesthetically pleasing"
froodyMe: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
cryoverkiltmilk
manicgoblinnightmarewoman
shydestinybread
unyanizedcatboysGlad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children
explorerrowanI am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.
dualclockMy cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang
Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.
My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang
Me: ksst!
My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!
Me: ok
My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang
notcaycepollard
callmeblissCan haz snackytreat
ladyshinga
dogsrulepeopledrool
fandom
continuantsTommy!!!!! Tommy is the VIP!!!!!!
me: ohhehehe new cheesy fantasy show looks fun and gay
the untamed: older sisters will die for their younger brothers. two people can truly love each other and still have an unhealthy relationship. self-sacrificial behavior no matter how well-intentioned inevitably will harm everyone it was meant to protect. childhood trauma and neglect have a lifelong impact on a person’s perception of their relationships and their own self-worth. those in power will use any excuse available to eliminate perceived threats to their authority. sometimes the only moral course of action is to remove yourself from a corrupt system. without honest communication, even genuine devoted love is not enough to save a life. support and care from other people is necessary to heal and thrive. the naive dreams of youth are impossible to retain in the wake of warfare and death. true love must stem from knowing another person as well as respecting and trusting them
me, in tears: okay
turing-testeda lesbian: actually I thought I was a trans man for a while and it turns out I’m just butch
a trans man: oh same! i thought I was a lesbian and it turns out im a trans man
nonbinary person: ive thought I was both and now i realized i’m neither! isn’t it cool how we can all talk about our shared experiences
people who come into my inbox: how dare you have anything in common. you’re invalidating literally every trans and lesbian person at the same time
firebirdscratchesThis is why “queer” is so important for questioning people who know they’re not cishet but haven’t figured out every last micro-label yet, or people whose labels are changing over time, or for someone who doesn’t feel comfortable sharing every last detail of their journey, or, or, or.