me and my gf were talking and there was a beat of silence and we both broke it at the exact same time, but in very different ways
my gf: I love you—
me, simultaneously: Mootball Feetlong.
brian: Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent?
freddie: Oh yeah, I’m experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That one’s called Sparkle Suds. Dress loud.
brian: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.
freddie: Disco Dairy. Spread the party.
cat: hey you gonna eat that?
human: uh, that’s a rat. They’ve been showing up ever since we started harvesting grain. We don’t eat them, they eat our food.
cat: free game then. Cool.
human: be my guest.
cat: hey is this spot free? It looks warm and I need a place to have my litter.
humans: this is my house. Feel free, I guess, just don’t get stepped on.
cat: hey can you watch my kittens for me? I need to hunt and I don’t want predators finding them.
human: holy shit these buggers are cute. Nothing will happen to them.
cat: I am going to climb on your lap now and you are going to love me.
human: I’m ok with this.
The Domestication of Cat
John Deacon: studied electronics in college
John Deacon: joined Queen at the age of 20
John Deacon: created some of the best known bass riffs (Under Pressure, Another One Bites the Dust, etc.)
John Deacon: composed some of Queen’s biggest hits (I Want to Break Free, You’re My Best Friend, Spread Your Wings, etc.)
John Deacon: married his wife Veronica Tetzlaff in 1975, had 6 children with her, and is still married to her
John Deacon: pioneered his own amplifier, the Deacy Amp
John Deacon: the only member who recognized that “there’s no Queen without Freddie”
John Deacon: respectfully decided to retire in 1997 to live privately with his family
Society/Media: just a boring bassist, not important lmao
the whole of death note was just like
L: Light, would you pass the cake please?
Their hair: *turns red and blue*
Light: [internally] …w- whAT?😱 no…he wouldn't👀😰…if i pass him the cake he’ll think i’m kira…but if i doN’T, he’ll have reason to suspect I’m KIRA!!!! dammit L you bastard!!!
what she says: i’m fine
what she means: the tv show iCarly always portrayed Spencer as some bumbling idiot after dropping out of law school after three days, but they disregard the fact that this means Spencer did in fact finish college with a degree and knew enough about the law to pass his entrance exams and had good enough grades in his classes to be accepted into a law school therefore the image that they portrayed of him being stupid is false, he was simply a man who realized his passion lied elsewhere and he wasn’t going to pay a tuition for a law school studying that when his heart wasn’t in it. he was a smart man with the knowledge and capability to do anything, and he chose his art
Child at the museum: I brought my stuffed eagle today!
Me, volunteer at the museum: Hey, that’s awesome! Did you know that birds like your eagle are actually dinosaurs, just like these guys?
Me: Yes, really!
Child: *gasps* I HAD NO IDEA THAT EAGLES WERE BIRDS!