Becoming An Adult

    I'm sitting here for the first time thinking how terrifying it is that I'm finishing up the 4 most difficult years of my life. Growing up we always had a purpose: - Do your homework - Get good grades - Go to university - Graduate but like ...now what? I guess this is the moment where I can finally start figuring out how I want to leave a mark in the world. The realization that all that hard work I've put into finishing school was just the journey to acquire skills. - Skills I must continue to develop. - Skills I need to apply to life. -Skills that will add value to the world but most importantly skills that add value to other people's lives.

    There are moments in life that numb your heart; where you feel shit about yourself and you're completely broken down. Then the realization comes that you just have to get over it; so you start to justify it by telling yourself "you're being a baby", "you just want attention", or "you're being needy" No one deserves to feel like this. And it's sad because when you finally get to that point, where you're just paralyzed emotionally, the next time you're just a little sad you start to think you deserve this feeling. It's like a never ending cycle of self destruction. The numbness, where you feel completely alone, is something you never forget.

    Thoughts after 23 years of silence

    My birthday always makes me sad. I feel unimportant. I feel old. I feel forgotten. I've never really shared why, but here we go: Ever since I was little my biggest fear has been having a birthday party and no one showing up. It's probably why I've never planned a birthday party on my birthday. Sure, I'm a very social person, I know a lot of people, but I have this deep feeling that everyone would have something more important to do on my birthday. It's nobody's fault but the day my birthday lands on each year is the 31st of August. This is always the first week back at school. Everyone is swamped with back-to-school activities, meeting people they haven't seen all summer, various party invites, and end of the month deadlines. I think if Facebook didn't remind people, I would go pretty unnoticed. Also the fact that my mom's work has loads of end of the month deadlines every August, so even she can't see me on my birthday. I know it's not anyone's fault, but (for lack of better words) it just sucks. Maybe I'm just craving attention... Or I'm being needy... maybe seeing how happy other people are during the birthday surprises I've been at over the years is fuming jealousy... I don't know; I feel stupid for feeling this way. All I want is to be: -Drinking a cheeky beer at some dive bar with all my friends dressed in all-white-dapper attire (because that's the theme someone chose) -Laughing in the background while holding those dorky silver balloons shaped as numbers that denote my age while people try to embarrass me -Blowing out candles on a homemade cake that someone baked at some ungodly time the night before - And drunk; Plain. Old. Happy. Drunk.

    Nostalgic

    I got a few trips coming up, but I just counted the days I have left in Malta. Only SIXTEEN non-consecutive days left.

    Reflecting on the 100s of people that I've: laughed with, hugged, ate with, kissed, traveled with, met, lived with, and everything else that comes with living abroad for a year truly could not be put into words.

    But you know me... I'm always talking anyways. Anyways, I guess I have to break up these sympathetic posts because I don't think I can process it all the day I leave this beautiful rock in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.

    I thought I knew was Spring Fever was until I came to Malta;

    All this beautiful: weather, beaches, festivals, hikes, parties, etc...

    and I have 3 projects worth my entire grade due in a 2 week timeframe, 3 fashion shows to walk in, 1 group project worth 30% of my grade, 2 exams to study for right afterwards, and finally I have to fit my entire life into a backpack & carry-on so I can roam around Europe for 2 months.

    willyoulovemeh

    Anyone want to show me around Portugal?

    Hey guys. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling around Europe lately, but it’s mostly been with my friends here in Malta. I’m planning a solo trip to Portugal mid June, and I don’t know any Portuguese or Spanish haha. 

    I was wondering if anyone knows there way around and has any advice for me or even wants to meet up to explore some awesome places.

    willyoulovemeh

    Still relevant, anyone have any advice for me 😭🙈

    Traveling life

    The pictures make the entirety of it all look so glamorous: 

  • Breathtaking views of cities & mountains & lakes & cliffs, 
  • Artsy angles of over-captured monuments & natural beauties & historic buildings, 
  • Vibrant colors of late-night parties & festivals & clubs, 
  • Frozen action selfies & smiles & laughs & kisses with people you’ve just met. 
  • Traveling is about experience, and it’s very much a lifestyle. 

    People admire the picture many have no idea about the 8 hour bus ride you took, the 10kg carry-on bag that you’ve shoved 1 months of your life into, the dinners you skip because there’s no ATM, the 90% vertical hike up a cliff of the Mediterranean sea, the sand you’re still spiting out of your mouth from the 50 meter haul up the side of a sand dune, the cars you dodge because the sidewalk is half a meter wide, the harassment of people trying to tie bracelets on your wrists & sell you selfie sticks, or even the loneliness of not knowing anyone around you, the cities you're in, and the local language. 

    There’s a lot you have to deal with. Traveling makes you realize you don’t know a lot and even sometimes that you don’t know anything. That scares a lot of people. That ignorance stops people from traveling, but if you truly want to capture the glamor you see on timelines you cannot let ignorance stop you. Some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from traveling are: 

  • Learn quickly and conquer. 
  • Make it your world. 
  • Adapt to the environment. 
  • Learn to live without things
  • Realize complaining is useless, and action is important. 
  • Meet people; Make strangers less of a stranger. 
  • Never let fear stop you from trying. 
  • Traveling is work and experience is your paycheck. 
  • Anyone want to show me around Portugal?

    Hey guys. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling around Europe lately, but it’s mostly been with my friends here in Malta. I’m planning a solo trip to Portugal mid June, and I don’t know any Portuguese or Spanish haha. 

    I was wondering if anyone knows there way around and has any advice for me or even wants to meet up to explore some awesome places.