@offbeatorbit
Offbeatorbit
Posts
51546
Last update
2021-04-03 02:15:40
    prongsyouignoramus

    Lily Evans is from Cokeworth, a town in the English midlands, so you can bet she had a real strong working class accent. That, coupled with her refusing to give up muggle slang to assimilate, means that James (posh pureblood pillock that he is) finds Lily incomprehensible for the entire first year.

    offbeatorbit

    I’m screaming. Absolutely.

    I’m actually going through some old Tumblr posts for book research and I can see that there’s a direct correlation between me barely posting on here and when Tumblr got rid of replies for a while in late 2015/early 2016. Then I mostly used Twitter because I like...interaction...and by the time replies came back to Tumblr I was just checked out.

    Some Personal News...

    I got laid off today (one day before my birthday 🙃 Gotta love Nu Media). I was a full-time freelancer at this company for years, not salaried/without benefits, so I won’t be receiving a severance package. The struggle is going to be real for a lil bit, but If you support my writing, want to give me a pity donation, or just like my face, I’d love a lil help 💖

    paypal.me/ashbrookreese

    paypal.me/ashbrookreese

    paypal.me/ashbrookreese

    marisatomay

    James Potter is the guy who was kind of a dick when he got to high school but cleaned up his act by junior year and went on to become a human rights lawyer with the ACLU because he knew he could make more of a difference fighting for what’s right instead of getting into schoolyard brawls

    Severus Snape is the guy who thinks that just because you’ve been friends for years you’ll eventually have sex with him and then after you drop him like a hot potato because hes been spending too much time on 4chan and reddit and started hanging out with guys who make racist and sexist remarks and then say “it’s just a joke!!” only for him to call you a slur in front of the whole school he joins a white supremacist group with his new buds and starts harassing women and minorities online and then in public and then is arrested for planning to shoot up a women’s college only to get off because he’s a white guy and now he teachers at your old high school

    offbeatorbit

    LOL FUCK.

    gunpowderandspark

    We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

    For my nominations, I’m putting up:

  • If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
  • or

  • It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
  • I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

    gayantivan

    this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

    gunpowderandspark

    Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

    thisisdefinitelyacreativename

    if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

    gunpowderandspark

    We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

    turtle-powered

    Two old favourites:

    “Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

    and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

    gunpowderandspark

    This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

    analienorsutin

    Rare blue watermelon

    undrjoyed

    That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

    akiraita

    How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

    unicornfan

    soap makes water molecules smaller

    elphabaoftheopera

    I nominate the we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

    tinydickhaver

    the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

    adataraxia

    “Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

    sasukehateblog

    that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

    painisthecleanser

    that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

    kingdomheartsddd

    The two way mirror

    rinlockhart

    “listen here, cumslut.”

    osunism

    I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

    offbeatorbit

    I had a conversation with a dude who does label stuff for Domino and I spent like two hours talking about my 11 years of Arctic Monkeys grievances/feelings and dude was amused and shook that a black chick knew about Suck It And See b-sides and called Humbug their best album.

    Oh, and that I hated AM.

    We agreed we had to discuss more again some other time and yes he definitely needs to hear more of my theory about Miles Kane being a bad influence lol. I learned a lot guys. Woof.

    offbeatorbit

    (God I'm on tumblr so seldom these days that I can't even remember my arctic monkeys friends usernames 😩 where's my girl from northern England who became really disillusioned by AM and loves The Cribs? Message me!)

    I had a conversation with a dude who does label stuff for Domino and I spent like two hours talking about my 11 years of Arctic Monkeys grievances/feelings and dude was amused and shook that a black chick knew about Suck It And See b-sides and called Humbug their best album. Oh, and that I hated AM. We agreed we had to discuss more again some other time and yes he definitely needs to hear more of my theory about Miles Kane being a bad influence lol. I learned a lot guys. Woof.

    yourdayataglance

    Anybody else got like,, rlly random connections to famous ppl?? Like my older brothers were friends w Jennifer Lawrence when they were like 12 and I just found out I’m friends w the cousin of the girl who voiced honey lemon in big hero six like, idk what I’m supposed to do with either of these tid bits I feel like I was supposed to live my life in ignorance of them

    jedihighcouncil

    my grandma accidentally kinda threatened one of our top politicians with a knife