Adhd wheel of fortune :

    1. *makes a cup of tea* *forgets cup for tea* *remembers it after 2 hours* .. fuck

    2. Binge watch a whole show overnight

    3. Leg bOunce leg bOunce leg bOunce

    4. I'm going to use color pens so I don't get bored *wastes time trying to pick the perfect set of colors*

    5. I feel like lying down for a while *deep cleans ENTIRE ROOM at 1am*

    6. I have an exam tomorrow *stares at one line for six hours*

    7. *Finds a new favorite show* I have to know EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW.

    8.*Makes a to do list* *gradually lessen the number of tasks because you keep wasting time till the day gets over and you haven't done anything*

    9. WeiRd nOisEs

    10. No focus if my hand doesn't have the focus giving object

    11. Tries to sleep. Brain: not till you complete your self insert movie

    12. I need routines. I HATE ROUTINES.

    13. Mismatched socks.

    14. What do you mean you love this show/movie/character a NORMAL amount??????

    what-even-is-thiss

    Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

    Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

    Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

    Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

    Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

    what-even-is-thiss

    Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

    Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

    Me: What kind of competition?

    Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.

    what-even-is-thiss

    Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

    Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

    Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

    Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

    Me: Do you have Internet down there?

    Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.

    what-even-is-thiss

    Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

    Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

    Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

    Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

    Fairy: You really think so?

    Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

    Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.

    what-even-is-thiss

    Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

    Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

    Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

    Me: What did you do now?

    Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

    Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

    Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

    Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

    Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

    Me: No!

    what-even-is-thiss

    Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

    Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

    Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

    Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.

    froody

    Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

    My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

    cryoverkiltmilk

    The spiritual successor to Miette

    shydestinybread

    May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

    unyanizedcatboys

    Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

    monsterlets

    trans guy 1: dude how did you grow an adam's apple

    trans guy 2: sheer force of will

    monsterlets

    this was from my freshman year of college, shortly after I came out, when someone sent me to hang out with these two (somehwat) older trans guys to show me that it was gonna be okay

    one of them told me about how he got his gender marker changed before it was technically allowed. what he did was he waited until he grew a beard, and then he walked into the dmv and pointed at the f on his liscense and said "there's been a mistake" and they were like "oh sorry about that sir"

    ADHD in relationships be like

    Me: :)

    Him: :|

    Me thinking: omg when I looked at him smiling, he just stared and didn't smile back, he hates me, why is he even enduring me, I'm a complete failure... Wait what? No, I'm a fucking QUEEN, I'm a mess, yes, but also funny and lovely, I fucking DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS I'M GONNA FUCKING LEAVE-

    Him: hey hunny, I was thinking about getting pizza. Can't decide between salami and diavolo, lol. You want a capriciosa as usual? :)

    Me:... yes please thank you, darling

    Me thinking: OMG HE'S THE BEST MAN ALIVE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OMG I CAN'T JUST EVEN FUUUCK LOOK AT THAT SMILE HHHNNNNNNGG